Mah favourite computer games in order of circumference.

1. Dear Esther.
2. Minecraft
3. Zelda (ocarina of time / majora's mask / wind waker)
4. Tiger Woods 2003
5. Mario Kart Double Dash
6. GTA 3-4
7. Bioforge
8. Grim Fandango
9. Viper Racing
10. Stunt Racer 3000
11. Chocks Away
12. Exile
13. Elite.
14. Repton.

The nicest sandwich you could ever eat on a summers day.

Serves two.

Ingredients:

• a hand full of cherry tomatoes
• two spring onions
• white wine vinegar
• sumac
• walnuts
• large mint leaves
• haloumi
• a fresh bloomer
• half a lemon
• olive oil
• butter

Chop up the tomatoes, mint and spring onions and toss in a bowl with a tiny bit of white wine vinegar, sumac, lemon juice and olive oil.

Grill the haloumi

Toast the walnuts

Butter the bread, you can grill this too if you like

Make

Eat!

Brickulator.

Available as an app or pre-installed on good but very low price phone with ads.

If you download and install the app:  On restart this app appears to have completely removed your phones OS and replaced it with a simulated Nokia 3310 including keypad and menu buttons. Your Nokia 3310 sim is fully functional, you can make phone calls, text and play snake etc. Unlike the original there is a option in the menu to download and install new games. If you complete snake or a downloaded game you will open up a Sony Ericsson T610 or similar era phone which you can choose from, depending on points, when selected this replaces the Nokia. Your new Sony Ericsson T610 is fully usable as it was with colour screen and that cool glowing joystick, plus you have the extra option of downloading games which if you complete you will win the next generation phone maybe even with a operational camera... You route will vary depending on points and what phones you pick but eventually you will get to OS's like Symbian, Android and iOS but these may have to be GTA style versions of the OS's to avoid copyright issues.

This, especially on pre-installed phones, could have the option of 3 lives. If you loose your 3 lives your phone is bricked. The end. 

Best stir fry thing ever

Just made the best stir fry thing ever! Although more of a soup...

In a wok fry some chilli and sesame seeds in walnut and sesame oil. (maybe some ginger if you have some).

Bung in some leftover chicken.

Then throw in; mushrooms (probably oyster would be better), leek, red pepper, broccoli.

After that has fried a bit tip in a tin of coconut milk.

Leave for about 10 mins.

Then add straight to wok noodles and spinach leaves.

Leave for another 5 mins and then serve.

Inkless Printer

I'm pretty sure a laser could precisely burn normal paper to a sufficient dark brown colour to a similar quality as a photocopier. I for one would be happy to forfeit a loss of quality and colour for a printer that never requires and consumables. Why does nobody manufacture an inkless / tonerless printer? Is it because they don't know what to call it... It's not really a printer is it, maybe I'm just searching for the wrong thing...

Fish in a Jacket. Serves two. Dairy Free.

Fish in a Jacket. Serves two. Dairy Free

• Two jacket potatoes
• A pack of Fish Pie fish: Salmon, Smocked haddock, Cod
• Bacon
• Soy sauce
• Walnut oil
• Half a Leek 
• Half a carrot
• Green beans
• Cup of stock
• 1 tbs Corn flour
• Dill
• Oregano
• Black pepper
• 1 clove garlic

Bake the potatoes at 200c for 1 hour.

With 10mins to go until the potatoes are ready fry the leek, bacon, carrot in a big pot.

After 5 mins: Sprinkle in the oregano, black pepper, dill and add the garlic, chopped.

After 5 mins: Poor in the cup of stock, some soy sauce and add the fish.

After 5 mins: Stir in the cornflour and add the beans.

After 5 mins: Scrape out the insides of the baked potatoes, fluff and add to the top of the pot.

Put the pot in the oven for 30mins. After 10 mins return the potato skins to the oven sprinkled with walnut oil.

Place the potato skins on a plate and fill with the fish sauce.

Bacon / mushroom / Butternut Squash / Coconut Milk Risotto

This is amazingly brilliant:

Grill some bacon and some cubes of butter nut squash.
Fry a leek in some olive oil and butter in a saute pan.
Bung in some mushrooms, two cloves of garlic and risotto rice.
Wait until the rice goes clear.
Squeeze in the juice from a lemon.
Tip in a tin of coconut milk and a mug of chicken stock.
Sprinkle in some cumin, cinnamon, coriander, paprika and grate on some nutmeg.
Leave for 20 mins and serve with a sprinkle of Sumac.


Bacon, butter nut squash, leek, olive oil, butter, mushrooms, two cloves of garlic, risotto rice, lemon, tin of coconut milk, chicken stock, cumin, cinnamon, coriander, paprika, nutmeg, Sumac.

Eat it!